Looking back, very far back.

“Always remember that if a person loved u once, even after a hundred years there’ll still be some of that love left.

I remember.

I thought, that time we are going to be together again. Just before the big twist happened.

Okay okay… I know Im not supposed to be looking back at this part of my colorful life, but I just cant help it.. “what to do?” hehe (a very popular phrase here in the middle east.) I was going through my xanga, as usual, and look what I’ve found. Some comment from my first love. haha when am I going to move on.. tsk tsk tsk! I still believe that were soulmates but yes, we dont always end up with our soulmates, but with someone at the right place at the right time, and thats just not me. Uh-uh, not gonna happen.Looking at him now still makes me smile. Knowing that he ended up happy with every blessing that the good Lord have blessed him, a good wife and a beautiful son coming really soon. I’ve always prayed for his happiness and yes, I can see an answered prayer. Im glad.

I just still miss him. Maybe not in a romantic way anymore (or yes, im not so sure), but I miss those times that we could just talk. Just talk. This is freaky, but one time I was really down and all that, I called his voicemail just to hear his voice (which is very calming for me). Poor thing. I had the chance to be talking to him forever, things happened differently and now, his voicemail is all I got.

I’ve seen the world. But I was by myself. Just me. No one to share the beautiful moment with.
Thank You Lord for letting me see your wonderful creations.. and as much as I believe that Michael is my soulmate, I BELIEVE MORE IN YOUR GREAT REASONS AND PLANS. May you just look after Michael and his family forever for me.

…And as I was staring at this post, I noticed the date.. It’s his 24th birthday tomorrow. How ironic.

Happy 24th birthday Michael.. with all the love that I could have given, wish you all the best!
…Anyway, what’s done is done. Just looking back. Never coming back. Applies to both guys I loved, R & M!


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