ENTRY 260: DEEP WITHIN ME

My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him.


– Psalms 62:1
I just actually got off my bed. Its 12:40am.. My body clock says that I should be tucked in by now, but there’s something that I have to let out. I went to bed frustrated tonight and and before that I even had hip hop abs sessions (great stress reducer btw.) Though it would help. but still ugh bad feelings that I just cant get off my chest were like loud noise. Then I grabbed my psp n started playing Brian McKnight’s Home. It wasnt the version that I wanted to hear, then I looked up on another album, and finally I found something that I know would put my soul into rest. It was the song ‘Lord Hear Our Prayers’, Thank you Lord. while listening to the song I was crying and uttering ‘Lord I surrende r to you.. please take the sorrows and bad feelings from my heart, I dont want them here.’  I started feeling better. God never fails to give me goosebumps whenever I talk to him. I can feel his nearness, hand Him my heart, and feel his arms around me. While typing these, I’m feeling better & better. I wish there is something that I could do just to give back all the love He has given me.Every night after a busy day, sometimes frustrated and down.. I ended up counting my blessings and as I keep on counting, I noticed that the list is never ending, then I’d start to laugh at myself, why bad feelings still accommodate my heart. It was a test. A test of faith and trust in the Lord.

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***Tonight, and for the rest of my life I promise to remember the new meaning of life. Why I’m alive, why He never gave up on me at my worst. I never have to worry because I have the Lord with me. Everyday my heart will see the wonders of your blessings, filled with gladness and thanks giving because You gave my life a new meaning. You are my everything Lord. I thank you for Your eternal love.

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